Maneesh and Keval
Backstory:
He grew up in Mumbai and pursued a career in engineering. Later he moved to the US and started working in the IT field.
What was his life like with a special needs sibling?
They had an 11 year age difference, so Maneesh relied less on his parents and was able to understand more about his family and brother. When growing up Maneesh felt more like a parent to his younger brother due to the age gap. In turn, he took up more responsibilities and created a very strong relationship with his brother. However, while growing up his parents took on most of the responsibilities associated with Keval. His brother was born in the 80’s with Down syndrome and went to a special school, because schools weren’t very integrated. This led to his mother taking him on a vast expanse of trains and buses to get to his school every day. Keval tends to have very heightened emotions, and when there is a loud noise, he tends to get angry, but never fails to be kind and pure.
How is his life right now with a special-needs sibling and what is his relationship with them?
They still have a special bond and his brother always looks forward to coming and visiting the US. The last time that he came he was ecstatic and really enjoyed spending time with his brother and extended family. Moreover, Keval loves Maneesh’s daughter and he has a fatherly love for her.
Did his parents affect his relationship with Keval? If so, how?
He felt as though his parents didn’t consciously affect their relationships, as they weren’t like two normal siblings. Additionally, during this time in India (70, 80, 90’s) the lifestyle was different. Dads were working all day long (6-7 AM → 11PM) so they spent less time with their children. Maneesh was able to realize that his brother needed more attention for their unique needs, however, he never felt like he was loved less because he was older. His parents, though, may have felt guilty.
What challenges did he face having a special needs sibling?
He still feels as though he doesn’t have a sibling who he can share important and sensitive stuff with, as they have a more unique bond. Maneesh believes that caused him to become more introverted and more socially awkward.
How does his special needs sibling affect his relationships today?
Growing up it was harder to go to social events as Keval was affected by loud noises. So during Diwali, it became a tradition for the family to not be in the noisy city of Mumbai. His brother can’t attend loud concerts, but he loves listening to his music.
What day has helped him overcome his challenges?
The main thing that helped Maneesh was his growth in patience with Keval. He has learned from his brother and it has helped him in his work life. His wife and daughter have also learned the importance of patience as they spent more time with Keval.
What was a memorable challenging experience with his sibling?
One day Keval left the whole apartment complex. He must have sat in an auto rickshaw, and maybe the driver didn’t even realize that he was there, as no one could find him. Everyone in the complex started looking for him. After 2 hrs, someone from the complex found him a couple miles away sitting outside the doctors office. Challenges like these were never really overcome, instead they were accepted. More specifically, through these experiences Maneesh learned the importance of having patience with Keval.
